It's difficult to find the correct line between allowing the kiddos to see their previous family members & working to make them a part of our family. I think it's so important to keep a connection with their blood relatives; at the same time, they are so dysfunctional. Girl acts out for a day or two after seeing them too. What's best for the kids? The ability to speak to blood relatives is important to me, as being adopted myself I never had that chance. But kiddos need to be safe, and definitely don't need to be exposed to certain things... ever.
All throughout the fostering we made sure that they saw a particular grandparent who was involved, and occasionally saw an aunt & another grandparent too. Girl has expressed not caring if she sees them; but you can't always believe her attitude. She has accused me in the past of keeping her mom away from her, at the same time.
And speaking of - they still see her, at our discretion. And boy, does Girl go through a lot of emotions. Excited to see mommy, happy to spend time with her, jealous that she has to share mommy with Boy, then goes off and sulks about something minor until mommy seeks her out. After we part ways, maybe a few hours later, Girl is hyper & irritable, argumentative, and cannot control her body. She will writhe around on the ground practically turning herself inside out. So many emotions the poor girl goes through.
So, we have cut off extended family, and have begun stretching the time between parent visits. It is best for the kids right now, but I hopefully envision a future where they can have both families in their life.
All throughout the fostering we made sure that they saw a particular grandparent who was involved, and occasionally saw an aunt & another grandparent too. Girl has expressed not caring if she sees them; but you can't always believe her attitude. She has accused me in the past of keeping her mom away from her, at the same time.
And speaking of - they still see her, at our discretion. And boy, does Girl go through a lot of emotions. Excited to see mommy, happy to spend time with her, jealous that she has to share mommy with Boy, then goes off and sulks about something minor until mommy seeks her out. After we part ways, maybe a few hours later, Girl is hyper & irritable, argumentative, and cannot control her body. She will writhe around on the ground practically turning herself inside out. So many emotions the poor girl goes through.
So, we have cut off extended family, and have begun stretching the time between parent visits. It is best for the kids right now, but I hopefully envision a future where they can have both families in their life.
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