Now A Family of *gulp* Six.

Yesterday was such a weird day. How can a person be busy and bored at the same time? It's been cold around here so mornings outside are not happening. Roman had his little class at the local elementary school from 1-2pm, so there was no quiet time. That's okay though, because he really left me to my own devices and did his own thing. So I got a lot done around the house; 2 loads of laundry, cleaned the bathroom, dishwasher ran, dinner started. But I was bored. I guess that's why I'm not a stay at home mom full time. Around 4:20pm Roman was playing a computer game, Charlie was finally calmed down, and I started watching Oprah. But my thoughts were, "Doug won't be home for another half hour at least, and I have nothing to do." It's a weird feeling. I mean, there are books I could have read, but you know one of the kids would have interrupted 8 times if I started to read. Usually my time waster is to check email, but with Ro on the computer that couldn...

In 5 minutes I will officially be a year older. Yay me! In weighing the whole family this morning, Roman still is holding steady at 37 pounds, I lost the weight I had gained last week so I'm now back to -4 since I started, and Charlie weighs a whopping 13.5 pounds! We have to turn the swing up to "3" to rock Charlie now, as his weight makes levels 1-2 a little... slow. We just had our FIRST non-poopy diaper since Wednesday evening. Thank goodness. Yesterday I went to the Dress Barn as I had a coupon in the mail and I love their lightweight capris. I also now love all their tops. Great groovy designs and colors. While I couldn't splurge, I did pick up a pair of capris, denim shorts, and one top. (more on my changing body shape in another post!) What I love about them is that it's so easy to budget. Their prices are pretty consistent, so I can tell Doug on the way out "I will be spending ____ amount of money" and I can hit it pretty much on target. Since ...

Tomorrow is my birthday. Every birthday that I can remember has been great. When I was little, my parents would make a posterboard sign to put on the fridge so it’d be the first thing I saw when I came downstairs; a pile of presents would be on the counter, and that evening would be a dinner that I selected, along with cake & ice cream. I cannot remember a single birthday where I was sad, or disappointed, or wished it had turned out a different way. But for many adoptees, there is always something lingering in the background. For me, it was always the day & night before my birthday, I allowed my brain to wander. I have not shared these thoughts with anyone (outside Doug) until now. On my actual birthday, I push my “adoption” thoughts out, celebrate with my family & friends, and move along to a brand new year. But on April 27 I reflect on the day of my birth. Do my birthparents know what tomorrow is? Are they thinking about what happened on this day, 34 years ago? Does my bi...

The day was slow in a lot of ways. Roman behaves fine when it's just me. Add Daddy to the mix, and he acts up again. Whines, refuses to play, wants Daddy's attention all the time. Frustrating. He did take a 1-1/2 hour nap, though. Roman did, not Daddy. Although Doug needs one! Water seems to be making our tummies feel better, and not much else. I had a couple plain mini-bagels for lunch and a bowl of Honey-Nut Cheerios. That's it. And all the water. I feel really full, too. We need milk but we're both too lazy to go out. So tomorrow will be oatmeal day. Anyway, wanted to post a couple pictures. One is of Doug's birthday dessert with all three boys in the shot, and the other is my "April brothers" picture. Roman is too cute, climbed up on the table this morning to try to interact with Charlie a little more. He desperately wants Charlie to be able to respond to him!

I guess I'll start with Thursday. As it is once people start having kids, Doug's birthday was a small and uneventful day. He was surprised with birthday cupcakes at work, and we had a steak dinner here with strawberry shortcake at home, and then he opened his birthday cards. The end. Roman had Daddy do "everything" at night - that means help with jammies, brush teeth, read a story, and tuck in bed. It's the highest honor, really, since we usually divide these rituals between us both. On Friday Roman, Charlie, and I got to my school at 7:15 because were helping to host a staff breakfast. It was great that most everyone I work with got to see Charlie, Roman was on his best behavior, and I got some adult-chat. Of course, I was exhausted, having to get up 2 hours earlier than normal to get there. But it was fun. We then went to Roman's preschool and picked up his stuff - portfolio, journal, extra clothes. The only thing left is a Trike-A-Thon t-shirt that will com...

Went to the library last week and was blown away by this cool program . Can you believe it – just for going to the library! I am hoping to take advantage of a couple of these, it’s just driving to some of them that makes me timid, not knowing my way around actual Detroit real well. Charlie cooed and smiled at a pig toy dangling in front of his chair on Tuesday. Not at me, notice. That’s a smile and coo for Daddy, smile and coo for toy. Zero for Mama and Roman. Roman was great on Tuesday. In fact, he is getting much better at playing on his own. He “talks” his guys for a few minutes before asking me to play, and Tues. late afternoon he got it in his head to modify the cardboard Hoth base. He gathered paper & scissors, asked to borrow tape, and made “trap doors” and “flip doors” for the bad guys. Now that’s what I’m talking about. That’s a huge step for him. When Doug gets home he gets the report, though – “Mommy only played with me ____ times today.” Thursday is Doug’s birthday, and...

After a meeting last night, a lady who is a midwife asked if she could ask me a personal question. Of course, I don't mind. She asked if I felt differently overall toward Charlie as an infant, than I did toward Roman as a baby. I know she didn't mean it like "do you love him more" kind of thing. Her experience is birthing babies, and the instincts that come with that, and she was curious if it has developed differently. My brief and precise answer was yes, I feel much differently toward Charlie than I did Roman. We talked a little, but I knew I needed to think more on it. At this point, of course, I don't love them any different. When we first got Roman, I loved him but it was more of a "I'm a responsible for him" love. It wasn't an all-encompassing, throw myself in front of a bus for him love. Yet. With Charlie, I did feel that immediately. Maybe it was because of the way he came to us. Maybe because he wasn't supposed to be here at all. But...

Do you see that evil smirk? THIS is what I have to deal with, all summer long. Lord, give me strength. I took this picture soon after I finished the previous blog and got up to do laundry. "What are you doing?" "Nothing." Smirk. "Why are you sitting there?" "You told me I had to read quietly in my room. I'm in my room - see my feet?" You all may be laughing, but it is damn irritating to have a child like this. I can't decide whether he's a smart aleck or very intelligent - or both. He does these little word games with me all the time. How and when do we decide he's gone too far into "needs a good smushing" land? Yesterday, at the storage unit, he asked if he could play with some of the infant toys. "Sure," I said. Then he was putting some Playskool dinosaurs in the car. "Why are you putting them in the car?" "You said I could play with them." "Yes, but not take them home." "Y...

So today is my first real "stay at home" day, in my opinion. Last week Roman was not his normal self due to fever, and there's just something about starting a week fresh that makes it "real." This morning we had a playdate scheduled with Michelle & her 2-year-old Kaelyn at an indoor playplace. Roman had been there before but I hadn't, so it was cool. Roman played very well around the younger kids there and also played a bit with a 5-year-old boy. We got in the car, however, and the whining began again. "I want to eat in the living room" "I want to have chicken nuggets" "how about fish sticks?" "I don't like bread!" "I don't like sandwiches!" On and on. I have to admit I lost my temper. Poor Charlie probably thinks yelling is how we communicate around here. It irritated me that he could be so sweet for almost 2 hours, and then when he gets me alone again - wham! back to trying to manipulate. He alr...

Doug got an actual coo and smile out of Charlie yesterday. Charlie had been in the swing during dinner, and when Doug went to pick him up, Charlie looked at him, smiled, and made a happy sound. The first time the two went together! Very cool. Charlie also did a first - slept almost five hours last night. I heard him hungry around 4am and couldn't believe my eyes! Roman and I took our bikes this morning and rode to the library. It was good, except for the part where Roman didn't apply his brakes fast enough and skidded out onto the Mile road. He backed up and there were no cars coming, but he scared the pants off me. So we are no longer letting him lead while biking. Ro chose 2 movies and a Star Wars picture book, and I got a teen novel. Those are truly the best right now - don't require thinking and I can finish them in a week. How out of shape am I, though? Just that little jaunt to the library has made my legs tired! Today we have friends visiting us for afternoon & d...

We have gone through 1 38-oz can of formula in exactly one week. So today we're going to Costco to buy TWO cans of formula so I don't have to keep going back every week. Roman's temperature is now 98 degrees again. Thank goodness. We are not returning to preschool, as his last day was officially yesterday. By our scale, Charlie now weighs between 12 and 12.5 pounds! By our scale, I have lost 3 pounds this past week! Hooray!

Roman came home yesterday from my parents' and unfortunately, had developed a fever while there. Pretty high, too, 102.3 last night. Tylenol helps some, but his little body is just fighting something off. He appears in a great mood and has all kinds of energy, and then - wham! - just falls apart crying. He is actually asleep already for his nap (12:30). Luckily, I escaped said feverish evening by taking Charlie with me to the middle school swim conference meet last night. My school won, which is always exciting. I did miss coaching this year, and am glad I'll be back next year. Charlie loved the pool - the humidity and noise put him right to sleep, and he slept the entire 2-1/2 hours we were there. He awoke briefly as I held him and watched the final race - the 400 free relay, always exciting because everyone puts their "big guns" in - and I was screaming myself hoarse. We placed 3rd in that race, sadly, but every single one of our girls swam a minute or faster. Amazi...

I thought it'd be a simple thing. After gathering all the paperwork (and finding Roman's "American" birth certificate last night!) it would be a snap to run over to the school, turn the papers in, and be done. Oh, no. The secretary looked at the papers and said, "have you registered him for after-school care yet?" No, I thought that happened when I registered him for kindergarten. "Well, that's a different registration, and parents line up to get a spot. I think they're full." This is my first child; I had no idea I had to do it separately, I figured it was through the school. "I'll call over and see if there's a waiting list." *I begin to panic, trying to imagine arranging totally new daycare for Roman* So she calls, and praise God! There was ONE spot left for the afternoon latchkey at Roman's school. Can you BELIEVE it? I rushed right over, paid my deposit, and Roman has the last spot in afternoon child care. Honestl...

Roman is at my parents' until Wednesday; that is, unless he falls apart and has to come home Tuesday. Anyone want to take bets? I should put a little poll up. Anyway, it's been nice. My parents sensed that Ro and his parental unit could use some "away time" so we can appreciate each other again. I believe that's also true. They had all kinds of fun planned; the hands-on museum, shopping at the dime store, and perhaps the Potawatomi Zoo if weather is good. I think he'll be okay. It's been nice to have relatively uninterrupted time. Of course, Charlie has his moments (gas pains at noon; now he's grumpy-snorting-sleeping) where I have to stop everything and give him some lovin'. But I'm also able to catch up on things. Speaking of, I am going to register Roman for kindergarten. It's somewhat like adopting from Russia, honestly. There's a big checklist, and we have to have property tax proof, and business mail addressed to us, his birth cer...

Giving Roman his bath tonight, he put the bendy guy's stormtrooper helmet on the tip of his penis and yelled, "stormtrooper penis!" It was absolutely hilarious. I laughed out loud, then quickly had to have a talk about a time and a place before he thought he could repeat it at preschool. He probably will, though. :) Charlie's eye appointment was just fine, and only a handful of appointments left. We have to check again in 2 weeks, then 10 weeks, then we'll see a pediatric ophthalmologist who will check out alignment and muscle strength. Then we're off the hook until he starts school, unless we notice something in the meantime. I did my first official weigh-in today, having begun my new tricks on Monday. I'm already 1.5 lbs down from Monday's weight. Don't you just love the first couple weeks of weight loss? I leave you with my silly family: Toga Charlie, and Roman-Luke on Wampa-Doug.

Charlie's new trick - drinking 6 oz a feeding and going close to 4 hours in between. Sometimes longer, if he's in the car seat or snuggled up close to Doug. We're thrilled with this... my mom reminded me that most people with newborns are close to done with middle-of-night feedings by this time; we still have probably a month or two to go before Charlie will stretch all night. So we savor this new 4-hour schedule just that much more. I look forward to the time when I don't have to see 2:30am or 3am involuntarily. Roman's new trick has lasted since last Saturday - no major fit throwing or tantrums, and his sweet mood has returned. It's sad to think the taking away of Tiny Tigers and his video game showed we meant business, but in the scheme of things it's a minor consequence for a lifetime of fit-throwing. Honestly, raising him has been a breeze until the past month or so. Wait... I didn't post about Tiny Tigers. Based on his behavior, especially Friday n...

Roman's last day at preschool will be next Thursday, the 17th. There was a lot of "rigamarol" and a paper to fill out, but essentially they were going to charge us for next week anyway since I wasn't giving them a full week's notice (on a Monday, right.). If all goes as planned, however, Roman won't be there Monday, and only half a day Wednesday as we're setting up a playdate. Ah, well. The owner was in the office when I told the girl that I was dis-enrolling Roman, and he said of course he was disappointed. I played it like it was because I am on leave right now (which partly is true) but made a comment about Ro not adjusting well and being a pistol in the classroom. He apparently was completely unaware of this, even though he is in the office a good portion of the time and has taken over co-directorship. Again, ah well. I have thought about writing a letter explaining my opinion of how this year has gone, but I figured - who knows what the cards hold, an...

On Thursday at his preschool, Roman rode a trike to raise money for St. Jude Children's Hospital. They watched a little video on it and Roman was really struck by the sick children. Maybe because of his recent experiences with his Mama and brother in the hospital, but he was concerned about children needing people when they're very sick. He also has energy to light a small community if he pedaled fast enough, so he was happy to ride his trike for the full half-an-hour. And Charlie's baptism was a small affair, for those of you perhaps disappointed that you didn't know about it/weren't invited. We wanted something small this time, just Charlie's grandparents and immediate siblings (which meant just my brother & his kids). Doug's parents had a small window where they could attend, and I had a small window when I wanted it because I wanted Charlie to wear my family's baptismal gown (and not burst out of the seams). We had our friend Paul H. be the deaco...

While there's lots of news to be had around our house - no Tiny Tigers class, but 2 good days after that - plus we're pulling Roman from his preschool after this week - oh yeah, and Charlie's baptism! - I thought I'd illustrate our weekend in pictures. Stories will come later.

Happy news #1: Charlie was weighed today when he got his last RSV shot. He weighs 10 pounds, 2.5 ounces! Whoa! Chunka-monkey! Happy news #2: We're getting money back on our taxes! Usually we try to break even, but since I'm not working currently it's nice to get some back. Happy news #3: We finished going through (almost) every box in the storage unit. People, we have a single-stall "garage" storage unit filled with boxes and... stuff. And after about 5 hours split between 2 days, I am pleased to announce we have 4 empty plastic bins and 1 empty moving box; 5 boxes have come home to be restored to their rightful places (baby clothes, scrapbooking stuff, bedding for the nursery); and 4 overflowing boxes, plus 5-6 pieces of miscellaneous furniture, are being donated. Still have a way to go - we didn't even touch my 6-8 boxes of "stuff" for and from school. I'll tackle that this summer. But I am darn proud of what we've done, especially since I ...

We are at the end of our rope with Roman. A friend at church tried to comfort us last night - "he was such a sweet angel the first couple years, I bet you guys are freaking out about this now!" Uh, yes. Here's how the day went. Doug dropped Roman off at preschool. At the first circle time, Roman was told multiple times to sit down and be quiet. He continued to talk to himself, get up to go to the bathroom, and basically wiggle and move, unfocused, the entire time. Keep in mind, circle time is only 15 minutes. I was at home taking cute pictures of Charlie, like this one. During Roman's lunch, it gets hazy; the teachers said he threw his lunch on the floor, Roman said it spilled. I tend to believe Roman on this one, because it was grilled cheese & fruit, a couple of his favorite things. However, when they asked him to pick it up, he did his obnoxious noise for no. They asked him again, the note said he got angry and refused to clean up. They sent him to the office t...

Roman and I had a good day today. It was a typical day; a few times he needed to be reined in, but generally he was sweet and I was in a good mood. I have found that I don't smile a lot. This struck me today, when we were walking through a parking lot. Roman was a bit ahead of me and he turned around, and he looked so cute with the wind blowing his hair that I smiled. And I realized that I smiled. Which means that I probably wasn't smiling for quite a bit before then. This is also true with Charlie. When I make a conscious effort to interact with him face to face (rather than narrate my life side-by-side), I have to remember to have a smile on my face. Is it because I'm so tired? Stressed? Slightly depressed? I don't know. But I'm going to have to work at smiling a bit more. So, today Roman accompanied me to my OB-GYN appointment, where I was officially discharged from postpartum care. My bp was 132/84, which while high for me, isn't a problem in dr.'s book....