Now A Family of *gulp* Six.

I am not a fan of birds. But this summer, I was possessed with the desire to own a birdfeeder & attract them. I'm not sure why. And of course, being a beginner, I ended up attracting a squirrel. Not just any squirrel - Jumpy. Jumpy has been hanging around our house since before Charlie was born, hiding his nuts in our yard & basically being a nuisance. Roman is the one who named him. Well, the arrival of the birdfeeders appeared to be the challenge Jumpy was looking for. It doesn't matter what kind of feeder I buy, Jumpy figures out how to get seeds from it. He destroyed the one pictured below within 2 weeks. The thing is, I don't really mind feeding Jumpy. Of course, he's getting quite fat and may not make it up to his nest in the tree across the street eventually, but I like seeing him. But I do miss seeing birds strangely, so yesterday I bought a magazine from Birds & Blooms with tips on what to put in feeders to attract certain kinds of birds. And it daw...

When I have free time, which isn't often, I cruise around the Internet to scrapbooking sites & blogs. There are certain people I like to "drop in" on. The other day I popped over to Ali Edwards' blog. I'm not a big fan of her style, but often she will provide some inspiration that gets me thinking. And so it was this day - her "one little word." The idea - to take a word and embrace it for the year. Let it guide your decisions, let it give you direction. I love this idea. So many words bounced around in my head, but it only took a couple days to settle on the one I will use. TIME. Spend it, squander it, find it, make it, it goes too fast, it goes too slow... so each month I plan to do a little page about how TIME is affecting me but more important, how I am using my TIME. I want to spend more with my kids without thinking of the zillion other things I have to do. I want to carve some out each week so I can be creative. I want to use my TIME better. ...

Already I have a bunch of videos I could share of bouncing, sledding, snow angels, and general goofing off (not to mention 2 of our "pet" squirrel!). But this one just shows the joy they had on Day One of break. Watch it a couple times to keep an eye on both boys.

I have avoided listening to the radio station that play Christmas songs this year. I have stuck to the traditional favorite CDs that we have & am not disappointed to have missed "I want a hippopatamus for Christmas." In rotation has been Trans-Siberian Orchestra's "Christmas Attic," Roger Whittaker's Christmas Album , Domestic Problem's old Christmas CD, and tonight I broke out Bing Crosby & the Andrews Sisters . Oh yes, I was belting out the backup vocals with those ladies. Anyhoo, we've also been trying to focus more on the "Reason for the Season" with our advent calendar and general discussions. Of course, Santa Claus is very exciting to a 3-year-old so we had to go see him this afternoon. We thought Roman would take it more in stride, but he was just as excited as his brother. Charlie asked for candy & cars; Roman asked for the Lego Hogwart's Castle (no way, it's $130!), a DSi-XL (no way, he already has a DS!) and...

This Thanksgiving weekend has been a Godsend. We were running at breakneck speed, just keeping up with daily life - appointments, meetings, even our pleasure events felt like they were flying at us and speeding by. It's amazing what a few extra days does for one's sanity. Of course, it has helped that my boys have been AWESOME the past few days. I was home with them on Wednesday (no school for anyone) and it was a rough go, but we found our footing. Friday and today they have just been great - aside from the constant talking from not one, but both. Thursday evening Doug and I hopped online and bought all of Roman's, and almost all of Charlie's, Christmas gifts. Thank goodness for Amazon.com. Free shipping helps too. Then Friday I went out to Toys-R-Us and got all but one last gift for Charlie. Got my parents' gifts purchased too. I'm way ahead of where I usually am - hopefully I can keep this up! Christmas decor went up today too, and the boys were great with t...

Charlie has begun to express his creative side. On the floor, with a Sharpie. On the wall, with a pink crayon. Thank goodness for Mr. Clean Magic Eraser!

On Friday afternoon I opened the fridge to get Roman something to drink. When I tried to close the door, it wouldn't. It just hung there. Turns out that the washers that cause it to stay closedn & sealed had completely worn through. Luckily, I have a handy husband who spent $1.50 and fixed it. Definitely lucky - because on Saturday he broke the washing machine. One load ran smooth, and when Doug tried to put the 2nd load in it started to fill and then "error." After a lot of time fiddling around, he thinks its the sensors. Whatever that means. So we had to order some online & we're without washer until at least Wednesday. And we hope that it IS the sensors, or there will be some scratch-and-ding shopping in our future.

I told someone the other day that Charlie was "my normal." He's really just a pleasure to spend time with. He's almost 3, and has the attitude that comes with that. Wants to do almost everything himself. He is happy most the time, which is how he's been since birth. Even the caregivers at daycare have mentioned this - he is just happy! His speech is getting better too. What we have noticed is that the beginning sounds of words don't usually get pronounced, and "s" definitely doesn't. Like "poon" instead of "spoon." Or "har" instead of "car." I do expect at some point he will need speech therapy, but I also hear him trying to say these sounds more and more. He loves to help around the house. His favorite is unloading the dishwasher, naming everything that he hands to me. When in a good mood, he'll even help pick up his toys but they don't always end up where we want them to. We are about done with h...

Doug wrote this title on his Facebook the other day, and I had to completely agree. Roman was needing an adjustment in medication, & that means more of it. He was bouncy again in class, going to the bathroom 3-4 times before lunch alone. Picking his scabs until they bled on his leg, arm, & now under his nose. Having meltdowns almost every day after school. Disorganized thought processes (not making much sense or connections) after dinner. So we had to up his ADHD med, his bipolar med, & adjust the times he takes them. If it doesn't work, we'll probably have to up his anxiety med too. Sooo.... We hate it. I hate having to give him medicine to be like other kids. For me to like him better. For him to function in society and be accepted. Yet what I love about our therapist is she is always on the lookout for cutting edge & even more "natural" therapies. Enter: neurofeedback. Basically, it adjusts the "bad reaction" brainwaves to be "proper ...

Tomorrow morning I am going on an overnighter with the ladies from my mom support group through therapy. We all have adopted children who are, at some level, attachment-disturbed. I am excited and nervous about this opportunity. We have been seeing each other practically every other Monday since January and at some level I know them all intimately - and the other, whew, I barely know them at all personally. And I have always hated my initial personality - I am so shy that I think I come off as stand-offish. It's very hard for me to make friends and yet I want to badly. Anyway, so it'll be a fun weekend but I'll have to work hard to try to break out of my reserved shell. Yes, people, those of you who have known me forever may be surprised at that! Cross fingers that things go well.

I really struggled with these letters. Not that I couldn't come up with ideas - it was settling on the idea that was the problem. Neighborhood came to me after I was thinking about it for awhile. I knew I wanted "yummy" but couldn't think of what to feature - and then threw ham in the slow cooker Monday and realized how much I loved it. And "zoo" for Z - of course. I thought it odd to end with a picture of a snow monkey though, so added a picture of myself to go with it. So as I finish the alphabet book about me, I have lots more ideas. This past weekend I scrapped another 22 pages, plus finished my picture-a-day album (12 weeks were left). One of my more successful weekends. So now what? I think I'll finish a couple projects started in the spring and see where the creative spirit takes me!

Okay folks, this is the best I can do until after this weekend. I am spending Thursday packing my stuff for my terrific scrapbooking weekend with the girls!

It's so crazy, gentle readers, I don't even know what letter I should be on anymore. Officially, today's class is the letter U. However, having missed C, N, & T I felt I needed to do a little catch-up. So I finally scanned in my C picture, and did U and V. Tomorrow I will go back to N hopefully (I've settled on "neighborhood" instead of "nap"), get my T picture taken ("teaching"), and maybe even W? I am going scrapbooking this weekend and I'd love to have all the pages printed out to show off to the ladies.

What a strange part of the alphabet. My idea for S, which is today, has to wait until tomorrow for a picture. My idea for T has to wait until Monday for a picture. I suppose I should just do U today, but I've got some books from the library I want to plow through, so I'm going to do that tonight instead! Enjoy Q & R.

N, like C, has turned out to be a stinker of a letter. I know what I want to do - how much I love naps - but the one picture I can think of is from 2004 & goodness knows where it is digitally. So, N has to wait & I moved on with O and P.

I don't usually enter into the teacher arguments. I know I'm fortunate to be home in the summer with my children. I know I appear to work less hours than office workers. I also truly enjoy my job, which means that it doesn't usually feel like work - again, I'm very fortunate indeed. But sometimes I wish I could really share what my day is like. I've seen those forwarded emails about what I *should* be worth monetarily and how I educate the world. But no lie - this is what I did today outside my normal job of being in the classroom and teaching: 1. helped a student clean out his locker, organize his binders, and admit that he needed help dealing with the load of work in seventh grade. 2. Empathized with a student as he discussed his upcoming foot surgery that would take him out of school for 2 weeks. 3. Talked to a mom on the phone about one of my assignments. 4. Emailed a dad about his student who is already failing multiple classes. 5. Counseled a girl who has pan...

Oh yes folks, I think I did actually fall off the face of the earth this week. You know how some weeks are so busy, you can only survive in your own little cocoon? And everything else in the world seems to be very far away. That was me. But I've resurfaced & have completed 5 more letters, in time to catch me up for tomorrow's letter - N - and I'm pretty sure it's going to be about taking a nap!

Charlie had some manly surgery done on Monday - outpatient, and he's feeling great - but I certainly fell behind on doing my pages. While waiting for the surgery I did have a chance to brainstorm a lot of ideas for my alpha book, so that has been helpful. Better yet - I is today, & I want to take a picture of my favorite ice cream. It calls for a trip to Baskin Robbins after dinner tonight!

Yup, I know I missed C. The picture I wanted to use I had to scan in, and my scanner doesn't want to work with my laptop right now. I'll definitely get back to it though! I was able to put together both D & E during Charlie's nap today, so here they are! And now I'm back on track.

Tomorrow, C, will be about cats. Maybe I'll even go with "crazy cat lady."

I began a class yesterday called "ABC Inspiration" over at Jessica Sprague's website , for digital scrapbooking. It's my first online class that I have paid for, and already I'm happy. Not only did the creator provide sets of red papers, blue papers, and "solid" (distressed) papers, she also designed 4 different templates and included 2 sets of word art. In my thinking today of the subject matter of the book, however, I decided to do something I'd always wanted but put aside - myself. It's going to be an ABC book all about ME . As yesterday was a "prep" day, today's page was "A." And here it is! It only took me about 20 minutes to do, and that's because I upgraded to Photoshop Elements 8 and am still learning the new format.

me: You know what's cool? You can play flag football all the way until you're 15. You don't have to do tackle unless you want to. Ro: "That's good. Because I'm not really that kind of boy." --------------------------------- me, before first game: Are you nervous? Ro: "No. (pause)... Well, I kind of feel like Harry Potter right before his first Quidditch match." --------------------------------- me: Charlie, do you see Ro-Ro out there? Charlie: "HI ROMAN! HI ROMAN!" everytime we cheer or clap... Charlie: "YAY ROMAN! YAY ROMAN!"

Roman has 2 days in his new classroom under his belt, and things are fine academically speaking. I had a chance to speak with his teacher yesterday after school & unlike most parents (so I've heard) I decided to take the high road and just commiserate as a fellow teacher how stressed she must be to have to set up a classroom in less than 24 hours. It's certainly not her fault the district is lame in adding a class at the last minute. Socially speaking, I think Roman is going to have a harder time this year. He has no close friend in his class although he did know 3-4 kids. Roman is the kind who wants everyone to like him and there's a "mean" kid in his class who has been rude already, making fun of his shoes (which are totally cool, btw) on the playground. Roman takes everything personally so of course, this led to a meltdown this evening because he wanted new shoes immediately. It took awhile to get at the heart of the matter, and when he finally said what ha...

Monday night was really hard on Roman. He went to bed at 7:30 just to end the day and get on with school. But of course he had a hard time sleeping - up three times, ended up in our bed to fall asleep, took forever. Complained of a stomachache, headache, needed a Band-Aid, you name it. Charlie wasn't much better - he's had a cold the past few days so he's generally grumpy and at bedtime HE wants in our bed now, too. Ro's first day of school was awesome, though - Charlie's too. We got home & I'm paging through Roman's zillions of handouts and I see one that says they've added a split class (1st and 2nd combined) because of the high number of students. I knew right then - Roman was selected. And sure enough, we had a message on our machine stating that Roman would begin in the split class tomorrow. So what do you know... he has no idea who is in his class, he knows nothing about his teacher, and he is already worrying about the get-to-know-you "ho...

While traditionally we should be at the beach watching the boats from the Tri-State Regatta with my parents, or camping in Grand Haven with Doug's parents, we chose to stay home this weekend. We had a pretty busy summer coming & going to so many fun things. The past couple days have been nice to just spend as a family of 4. Yesterday we puttered around the house, doing yardwork & generally putting things away. There were a couple moments where we *gasp!* had nothing to do but watch the kids have fun. Amazing. Today we ran a couple errands but again, nothing too strenuous. Doug came up with a fun idea for dinner tonight - I don't know how he got it in his head - but he wanted a "P" dinner. Everything had to start with P. We had pigs in a blanket, popcorn, peas, punch to drink (Doug had pale ale), & Doug also made a small bit of pork ribs for himself. Roman was sad it didn't include pears. Tomorrow is our last day of rest. On the agenda is really, again,...

Besides the aforementioned Halloween conversation, other things tell me that my favorite season is almost upon us. School, of course, being the biggest one. I went back to work on Monday and feel very unprepared for the school year. Lots of ideas but lots of things to do. It's horrible to feel behind before the school year even starts! I hope to get a lot of the computer-based stuff done this weekend. Football has started... for Roman, anyway. I don't pay much attention to college or pro sports, but Ro had his first football practice on Tuesday night. He came home absolutely excited about it - showing me how to hold a football, throw it, and explaining (in somewhat confusing terms) the first couple plays he learned. So happy that he has shown interest in something that Doug loves too. The boys head back to school as well. We had the "bounce back to school" fun time for Ro on Monday night, and there's an Open House for Charlie's daycare on Thursday evening. It...

Driving past the temporary Halloween store on Aug. 23: Roman: "Can we get my costume today?" me: No. R: "Why not?" me: Because you haven't truly decided what you want to be, and I don't want you to change your mind after we buy something. R: "I do know! I want to be a zombie ninja!" me: A zombie ninja? R: "Yes! Or, a Jedi. Or, anything else they have that I might like." So he hasn't decided yet, but at least we've narrowed it down, eh? Charlie, on the other hand, hooted for a Buzz Lightyear costume at Toys R Us and has worn it around the house already. Clearly he knows his own mind. By the way, I Googled it & there is an actual "zombie ninja" costume. Wow.

Continuing to encourage Charlie in his pedaling pursuits, Roman first modeled correct biking procedure while Charlie watched all summer. At this point, Roman was giving Charlie pushes from behind & chanting songs to encourage him. And then, all of the sudden.... Charlie pedaled! Currently he pedals about three-fourths of the time, doing the "Flintstone" with his feet the rest. But he does love to be like big brother!

Here are some things I've been playing around with lately. Covered a bare holder with coordinating papers. spray painted a black candle holder brown. Moved these items to a better canvas, updated the pictures, and hung. Shelves in the dining room that can be really cool if I could just find the right things/positions. I really enjoy doing & making things. Because I'm truly not that artistic, often a project doesn't turn out the way I visualize. But then I can keep tweaking things. And I love doing stuff for the house. If it were up to me, I'd be buying & playing around with knick-knacks all day long. And by no means are these things "done." I'm constantly thinking of changing colors or moving things or adding to it. But there is definitely more to come - I have a couple mini-albums I'd like to scrap (or at least put the paper on the pages!) and as our master bedroom has been painted a new color, I've got a couple of crafty ideas for in...

With Roman, the little victories mean a lot. Especially me, as he seems to have such trouble expressing his love & affection toward me. I sometimes wonder if it's there at all. He's definitely not securely attached to me. For example, what I usually get is what happened tonight. He's at his grandparents, and he called us at 9:15 because he was having a hard time falling asleep. And he told Doug, he realized why - "I didn't say goodnight to you." Not me - he didn't even ask for me - it was Dad. When I tell him I love him, as I did on the phone, I get the same reply - "okay." Can you imagine telling someone you love them daily and only getting an "okay" in response? Doug told him the same thing on the phone, and Roman of course replied "Love you too." It's clear where I stand. It's hard to not take this personally, but it's what I have to do. It's not me, it's my position as mother. That's why I have ...

The vacation was very fun & Roman especially handled things very well. Only 2 small meltdowns, both easily calmed & controlled. This week has been VBS at church, which is more of a challenge. Charlie has fun, but he does not like being away from us for 3.5 hours a day while Ro and I participate in classes. And as much as I like older kids, I'm thinking of doing 3rd grade next year! Roman finished his baseball season last night. His coaches did the best they could, but it certainly wasn't the learning experience we had hoped he'd have. Not sure what we'll do next year. Football starts in August. We got ourselves into an interesting situation with that. It's Roman's first time with flag, and apparently we signed up for the wrong league for an introductory season! The one we signed up with has practice 3x a week for 2.5 hours. Seriously. For 7-year-olds. We didn't discover this until we had paid the fee. The more we think about it (plus games on Sundays...

I'm sure you're not surprised to learn we went swimming this morning as soon as the pool opened at 9. Yeah. After that and an early lunch, the 3 oldest went to a kids' program. Charlie fell asleep in my lap at 11:30am after eating some mac & cheese. Really cute. When he awoke, Doug and I and C. went into Grand Rivers one more time to poke around. The 2 brothers & their wives went golfing, and parents-in-law also poked around here and there. We all met back up at the dock where the boys were feeding the turtles at the end of their program. We had a dinner of hamburgers and leftovers here at the condo, and ice cream to top off the week. Since we & the South Dakotans are heading out tomorrow morning for our homes, we went our separate ways to pack & organize, or in my case, track down the kids' stuff in two different condos & the car. Tomorrow we load and it's a leisurely drive to Dayton, as Charlie can't do much longer in the car. And then home...

Today was an interesting day. Doug went golfing with his 2 brothers & Serena, and Kathy offered to take the 3 older boys to a movie since it was a really hot day (no mini-golfing). Charlie & I went on our own adventure to the Nature Station . It was really fun, like a "Kentucky backyard" and we saw 4 different kinds of owls, bald eagles, vultures, a groundhog, deer, a bobcat, turkey, and the coolest - 2 red wolves (a very endangered species). Inside the Nature Station they had tanks with turtles, snakes, and flying squirrels, along with a kids' play area where you could examine animal skulls, skin, etc. and about 6 different pelts to touch. Charlie loved it. We got back and after lunch, C. took a nap. And then the grumpies arrived. He woke up once yelling for me, but fell back to sleep. The second time he awoke he was just pissy. Crying at everything, changing his mind, whining, the worst. I took him for a golf cart ride and we went to look at the turtles by the r...

Today began with a quick trip to Paducah to the Wal-Mart. I don't think we could get any more Kentucky-ish. We had a few things to pick up that the local IGA didn't carry. Roman did not go because Aunt Kathy offered to take the 3 older boys downtown on the golf cart & to check out the shops. Roman came back with a stuffed turtle named Mario, a smaller one for Charlie named Luigi, and Alek named his Yoshi (all names from Mario games). Not sure what Ian's turtle is named. All the boys are thrilled with them. I love boys who don't mind showing a little love for stuffed animals. When we got back from W-M, I went with C & R to go swim with their cousins while Doug did some work. When we finished up and headed back for lunch, Scott & Serena had arrived from Atlanta. They went swimming with the boys AGAIN, while I decided to nap with Charlie for a couple hours. The afternoon brought... you guessed it... more swimming, then dinner out at the Yacht Club here on resor...

We decided to go adventuring today. We started at the north end of Land Between the Lakes National Park. As I was looking at the local brochure-map, something I had overlooked seemed to jump out at me - Fort Donelson National Battlefield ! A Civil War battle site, just 40 minutes away! So we decided to head down there and work our way back up the LBL area. We did swing through the Elk & Bison Preserve , and we saw a herd of buffalo by a pond and 4 female elk. On our way out, just as hope was almost lost, we caught sight of a male elk with big, big antlers. Very cool! We had packed a lunch and so we had a picnic before we headed into Fort Donelson. By the end of the first 3 stops, it was so blazin' hot that we decided to head back to the condo & swim, maybe stopping at the Nature Station on the way. Charlie, Roman, and myself all fell asleep so clearly there was no other stop! Once we got back to the condo, Roman went off to the beach with his cousins & we took Charlie...

Our place in Land Between the Lakes is very nice. It's a "loft condo" and our bedroom is in the loft area, which Roman loves. The deck is on stilts and overlooks the bay, which is cool. We watched turtles swimming around by the banks last night as burgers cooked on the grill. Very nice. But because we're on central time, Charlie woke up at 5:30 Central Time. Not cool. The closest pool has a slide and is really really warm, not sure if that's condo or weather related. It's supposed to be high humidity and mid-90s through Wednesday. The boy cousins have begun playing like they just saw each other last week, not last Christmas. Although Charlie can't keep up with the older ones, and we all feel kind of bad for him. In the Land Between the Lakes there is cool stuff like an 1850s settlement with costumed interpreters, a Nature Station, and a bison and elk preserve where they're trying to restore it to original landscape. Obviously need to check all that ...

Charlie has been following Roman around all summer. He imitates Roman doing everything. His speech is coming along really fast now, with sentences being the norm now (although often leaving some words out). The connections he makes are pretty amazing. He is Opposite Boy when it comes to food & activities, liking everything Roman did not (& vice versa). One thing he did insist on, however, was a temporary tattoo. Roman has a sheet of them that he occasionally uses. He let Charlie have a tiger on his left forearm. When Charlie went to bed that night, he was crying & babbling. I went in and finally figured out – he wanted 2 more tattoos, one on his right hand and one on his right forearm. I had to promise he’d get one in the morning for him to finally calm down! He had his first playdate this past Wednesday with Allie, the little sister of Roman’s friend. He was SO excited to play in their playroom & on the playscape in their yard. He also likes when Roman’s friends come ...

Roman has had a busy & fun summer, according to him. He got to stay at his grandparents’ in SJ for a few days with me & Charlie, and he is also in Lego Camp this week in the mornings which he loves. Baseball continues every Thursday until the end of July, and while no real skills are being learned Roman still likes the sport and has definitely improved over last year. He has had lots of playdates with different friends & done errands with me with little complaining. Also, we got the game Lego Harry Potter for the Wii, so with any extra time he beats it downstairs to do a level. On the internal side, Roman is struggling with an increase in anxiety. He has always struggled with separation, continuing to have nightmares about being “stolen” & asking lots of questions about what would happen if there was a tornado, if I had an allergy attack at a barn we visited, things of that nature. This anxiety has now extended to outside, where he basically refuses to play unless h...

Some people call me Old Glory, others call me the Star-Spangled Banner, but whatever they call me, I am your flag; the flag of the United States of America. I remember some time ago people lined up on both sides of the street to watch the parade, and naturally, I was always there, proudly waving in the breeze. When your daddy saw me coming, he immediately removed his hat and placed it over his heart. Remember? And you, I remember you standing there straight as a soldier. You didn’t have a hat, but you were giving the right salute. Remember your little sister? Not to be outdone, she was saluting the same as you, with her hand over her heart. Remember? What happened? I’m still the same old flag. Oh, I have added a few more stars since your grandparents were children, and a lot more blood has been shed since those parades of long ago. But I don’t feel as proud as I used to. When I come down your street, you just stand there with your hands in your pockets. I may get a small glance, but t...

I'm apparently into lists, because in my head I was thinking of what to blog and it was another list. Bulletpoints are great. So... why I think summer is kind of cool. We have a great big tree in our front yard that shades the deck. And no matter how hot it is, it's shady & cool on that deck. Roman can have playdates on any day. No school nights to beware of! And if I do it right, like right now, Roman can have a more-quiet friend over while Charlie naps & I get precious time to myself. If I grab the hose & "accidentally" get the kids & myself wet, it's okay. We have all day to dry off. Charlie can go in just a diaper and it's acceptable. If I feel like going to a store, I can just go. No narrow window between work & school pickup & dinner making. I have the patience to do a craft with the kids. And they think it's fun. A slight downside - I take pictures of everything. And then want to scrap it. And can't find the time! But I d...

Things I'd like to get around to, or even possibly complete, by August 31: Get into the "39 Clues" series See Eclipse & Toy Story 3 Clean out the 2nd closet in Charlie's room Get our master bedroom (finally!) stripped of wallpaper Go out to Kensington MetroPark a couple times Spend a day with Roman & Charlie individually Finish up the 2009 Project 365 album Scrapbook a few more pages Declutter the house Spray-paint a couple items for fun And always on the list: Laugh a lot with these adorable boys.

Happy seventh birthday, Roman. We love you so very, very much.

I have been wanting to make cards for awhile now, but have never been pleased with the results when I attempted it with paper. You'd think it'd be just like scrapbooking on a smaller scale, but the cute things I saw just never translated when made by my hands. I began to see it as a chore, and so went back to buying dollar-store cards for the past year. And then... At the scrapbooking convention there was a place that sold digital card templates. Don't ask me why, but it never occurred to me to make the cards on my computer and print them. I bought it on the spot and have now made 2 cards, one with a template and one without. And I enjoyed it! In fact, I was excited to make them and had fun playing around with it. Looking forward to making a couple for Father's Day, too, not to mention Roman's birthday next week! Now the only problem is finding the time to be creative.

Lyrics of an old song that dashed through my head today as I attended to my family's needs. Charlie is really coming into his own and it's great to see - except I am reminded that I really hate "two." There's lots of demanding and no understanding. Can Mama have 30 seconds to finish this article in a magazine that she's tried to read 4 times today? NO! "Mama play!" is heard. And we're not just talking the 2-year-old with that one. Because of many reasons, I seem to have hit the wall of not wanting to play with Roman. But my support group helped me realize that it's not playing with Roman - it's playing Legos with Roman that I can't stand. I would play card games, baseball, what have you... but I just can't stand role-playing stuff with him. This stretches all the way back to Thomas the Tank Engine. Perhaps because I always did it by myself, I don't get the need to constantly have someone interacting. But anything I could do n...

Who wouldn't babysit for this kid? What a mug. Since we go to therapy every Tuesday evening (not to mention every other Monday Doug golfs & I have support group), we have had to find a babysitter for Charlie who was willing to keep the weekly date. Our people of choice are jobless teens from our church. We started with Mike, who was successful for many months until he got a job. Darn this economy! We moved on to his brother, who only worked out for a couple weeks until HE got a job. Luckily we were tipped off to another church family whose eldest son is also jobless & interested in babysitting. He has been with us about 6 weeks now and is working out well. We did have a conflict this week, so he introduced us to his girlfriend Anna, who came with him last week & then sat for Charlie tonight. And of all the sitters we've had, Charlie seems to have fallen for Anna. We had been wanting to encourage boys (as you may have noticed) because Roman especially likes to play ...

I have to steal words from others to get you in the emotional place to understand our relationship with Roman. This is courtesy of our therapist, who posted this as a preview to an article she sent a group of us: I know you have heard… “He’s just so cute and seems so sweet.” Or, “She behaves so wonderfully for her teacher.” Better yet, “I don’t ever see any misbehavior!” Comments such as these, for a parent struggling to develop a relationship with an attach disturbed child, is not just a slap in the face but reaches inside and takes a tight hold on those growing roots of fear. “It must be me?” “What am I doing wrong?” How do you explain this phenomenon, this abstract concept of ‘being attached’? How do you explain that what is being experienced when rebuffed by a child, your child, is something nearly unexplainable? How do you express the intimate loneliness, the loss of reciprocity so innate that it should be effortless? Roman wants me so badly that he pushes me away. I'm sure th...

I have just concocted a new business idea. A grocery store for working parents that labels their aisles a little more clearly. I just spent 15 minutes wandering around Kroger because I couldn't find Hamburger Helper. Why the heck is it in the "canned goods & rice" aisle? Another pet peeve is tomato sauce vs. pizza sauce vs. spaghetti sauce. Why can't they all be in the same place? Tomato sauce is in the canned vegetable aisle, while spaghetti sauce is near the pasta, and pizza sauce - sometimes I can't even find it. And don't even get me started on Manwich or canned chili. I think they should label things more obviously. "Boxed dinners" aisle. This would include mac & cheese, Hamburger Helper, etc. How about a "Cans & Jars" aisle, so there's only one place I need to go? The "Food to pack in a lunch" aisle would include pb & j, those to-go cups of fruit, applesauce, etc. I think this would be a hit. I can't ...

Man, has it been awhile since I've been here. I think about posting every few days but am so exhausted. End of the school year, students had projects I was furiously grading, you know... excuses, excuses. Here are the highlights of the last couple weeks: CHARLIE Charlie can drink out of a regular cup. He's very proud of himself, too. Charlie also loves to eat his boogers. Complete with a satisfied "Mmm!" as he sticks his finger in his mouth. We went to the Blossomtime Parade in my hometown a couple weekends ago and Charlie loved it. He appeared to like the floats best, as well as the characters in the cars like Elmo, Big Bird, & Ronald McDonald. Charlie would survive on oatmeal if we let him. It's his request for every meal. Apple Cinnamon or Dinosaur Eggs (maple/brown sugar). He even dreams about it - we heard him call out the other night in his sleep, "oatmeal!" His greatest desire is to be outside in the backyard. Not even the suggestion of a bath...