Now A Family of *gulp* Six.

Lyrics of an old song that dashed through my head today as I attended to my family's needs. Charlie is really coming into his own and it's great to see - except I am reminded that I really hate "two." There's lots of demanding and no understanding. Can Mama have 30 seconds to finish this article in a magazine that she's tried to read 4 times today? NO! "Mama play!" is heard. And we're not just talking the 2-year-old with that one. Because of many reasons, I seem to have hit the wall of not wanting to play with Roman. But my support group helped me realize that it's not playing with Roman - it's playing Legos with Roman that I can't stand. I would play card games, baseball, what have you... but I just can't stand role-playing stuff with him. This stretches all the way back to Thomas the Tank Engine. Perhaps because I always did it by myself, I don't get the need to constantly have someone interacting. But anything I could do n...

Who wouldn't babysit for this kid? What a mug. Since we go to therapy every Tuesday evening (not to mention every other Monday Doug golfs & I have support group), we have had to find a babysitter for Charlie who was willing to keep the weekly date. Our people of choice are jobless teens from our church. We started with Mike, who was successful for many months until he got a job. Darn this economy! We moved on to his brother, who only worked out for a couple weeks until HE got a job. Luckily we were tipped off to another church family whose eldest son is also jobless & interested in babysitting. He has been with us about 6 weeks now and is working out well. We did have a conflict this week, so he introduced us to his girlfriend Anna, who came with him last week & then sat for Charlie tonight. And of all the sitters we've had, Charlie seems to have fallen for Anna. We had been wanting to encourage boys (as you may have noticed) because Roman especially likes to play ...

I have to steal words from others to get you in the emotional place to understand our relationship with Roman. This is courtesy of our therapist, who posted this as a preview to an article she sent a group of us: I know you have heard… “He’s just so cute and seems so sweet.” Or, “She behaves so wonderfully for her teacher.” Better yet, “I don’t ever see any misbehavior!” Comments such as these, for a parent struggling to develop a relationship with an attach disturbed child, is not just a slap in the face but reaches inside and takes a tight hold on those growing roots of fear. “It must be me?” “What am I doing wrong?” How do you explain this phenomenon, this abstract concept of ‘being attached’? How do you explain that what is being experienced when rebuffed by a child, your child, is something nearly unexplainable? How do you express the intimate loneliness, the loss of reciprocity so innate that it should be effortless? Roman wants me so badly that he pushes me away. I'm sure th...

I have just concocted a new business idea. A grocery store for working parents that labels their aisles a little more clearly. I just spent 15 minutes wandering around Kroger because I couldn't find Hamburger Helper. Why the heck is it in the "canned goods & rice" aisle? Another pet peeve is tomato sauce vs. pizza sauce vs. spaghetti sauce. Why can't they all be in the same place? Tomato sauce is in the canned vegetable aisle, while spaghetti sauce is near the pasta, and pizza sauce - sometimes I can't even find it. And don't even get me started on Manwich or canned chili. I think they should label things more obviously. "Boxed dinners" aisle. This would include mac & cheese, Hamburger Helper, etc. How about a "Cans & Jars" aisle, so there's only one place I need to go? The "Food to pack in a lunch" aisle would include pb & j, those to-go cups of fruit, applesauce, etc. I think this would be a hit. I can't ...

Man, has it been awhile since I've been here. I think about posting every few days but am so exhausted. End of the school year, students had projects I was furiously grading, you know... excuses, excuses. Here are the highlights of the last couple weeks: CHARLIE Charlie can drink out of a regular cup. He's very proud of himself, too. Charlie also loves to eat his boogers. Complete with a satisfied "Mmm!" as he sticks his finger in his mouth. We went to the Blossomtime Parade in my hometown a couple weekends ago and Charlie loved it. He appeared to like the floats best, as well as the characters in the cars like Elmo, Big Bird, & Ronald McDonald. Charlie would survive on oatmeal if we let him. It's his request for every meal. Apple Cinnamon or Dinosaur Eggs (maple/brown sugar). He even dreams about it - we heard him call out the other night in his sleep, "oatmeal!" His greatest desire is to be outside in the backyard. Not even the suggestion of a bath...