First, news on Charlie: He has lost a couple ounces, which is normal. But, he was on the "jaundice lamp" Sunday and already taken off Monday because his levels went down. He also is feeding well (through a nasogastric tube) so they upped his feedings to 10cc each time. Today was great because Doug and I spent the afternoon together with Charlie. I got to Kangaroo hold him for 1-1/2 hours and Daddy was told he could start holding Charlie too (although he is waiting until later this week - he's still used to being "errand man" while I'm holding Charlie). Tomorrow I will be starting to change diapers and take his temperature, a couple of the only things parents can do in caring for him. Charlie spent almost 30 minutes awake while Doug and I cupped him and talked to him... just a powerful afternoon with our baby.
God continues to solve my internal dilemmas and debates in one fell swoop, although it's not quite the way I want things resolved necessarily. Take these: with bedrest and early delivery
1. Our dilemma with Rebekka was solved (ready to go home or not?)
2. My fear of giving birth to a 10 pound baby was resolved (emergency c-section at 30 weeks tends to do that)
3. My secret desire for more time off work was granted (again, not in the way I had hoped)
Now there is a fourth resolution, again not in the way I expected. I had asked my grad school professors if it was possible to continue to do the paperwork and readings for my classes although I would not necessarily be able to complete all the observations (since I was on bedrest at the time). Both teachers have acknowledged my difficulties but have refused to allow me to do this; after talking with Doug after Charlie's birth, I certainly am not going to spend my Monday evenings in class when my mind is clearly somewhere else - and needs to be.
So, I have to regretfully withdraw from the Masters program. These two classes are only offered one semester a year, and there's no way I can complete my end-of-degree project this year either. And I'm already on the one-year extension. In truth, the only thing it doesn't allow is a nice raise through my school district. I'm not devastated that I can't finish, because my family is more important to me. And it's a relief not to worry about it anymore. It just... is one more thing. I don't know that I can keep taking all these "resolutions." I thought that bed rest would be my world-stopping act, but it appears to be the one thing that is making the rest of my life fall apart!
God continues to solve my internal dilemmas and debates in one fell swoop, although it's not quite the way I want things resolved necessarily. Take these: with bedrest and early delivery
1. Our dilemma with Rebekka was solved (ready to go home or not?)
2. My fear of giving birth to a 10 pound baby was resolved (emergency c-section at 30 weeks tends to do that)
3. My secret desire for more time off work was granted (again, not in the way I had hoped)
Now there is a fourth resolution, again not in the way I expected. I had asked my grad school professors if it was possible to continue to do the paperwork and readings for my classes although I would not necessarily be able to complete all the observations (since I was on bedrest at the time). Both teachers have acknowledged my difficulties but have refused to allow me to do this; after talking with Doug after Charlie's birth, I certainly am not going to spend my Monday evenings in class when my mind is clearly somewhere else - and needs to be.
So, I have to regretfully withdraw from the Masters program. These two classes are only offered one semester a year, and there's no way I can complete my end-of-degree project this year either. And I'm already on the one-year extension. In truth, the only thing it doesn't allow is a nice raise through my school district. I'm not devastated that I can't finish, because my family is more important to me. And it's a relief not to worry about it anymore. It just... is one more thing. I don't know that I can keep taking all these "resolutions." I thought that bed rest would be my world-stopping act, but it appears to be the one thing that is making the rest of my life fall apart!
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