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I should be out by the pool...

What a crappy day. It is the annual swim at a coworker’s house, but when I woke it was stormy, rainy, and they were warning of more. So I cancelled our appearance. I did think, it will probably get nice later and I should get ready anyway… but I didn’t. Then around 11:30 I thought to call and see if they were all there, cuz I changed my mind and thought we’d go (plus, it's sunny). Got out towels and swimsuits. Then I realized that Roman needed lunch very soon, Charlie was crying for more bottle, I hadn’t showered (and needed to if I was going to appear in a swimsuit), and it would be at least 45 minutes to pack up and get out the door; & 25 minute drive to the coworker. So I decided we wouldn’t. And then, inexplicably, I began to cry. Hard. And I realized I really needed to go. I need adults, I need my old friends, and I need to get out of the house! What I really need is some time away from the kids (because I am tired of dragging them everywhere I go) but that’s a different post.

But then I started thinking of everything I had to do since we’re visiting family this weekend. We have to go to the grocery store or Charlie will have nothing to drink. I have to go fill a prescription. I have to do a load of laundry. I had promised Ro we’d return stuff to the library to get new for the weekend. And I thought, I guess we can’t go. And then a coworker called. “We’re here! Come join us!” And I decided at the last minute – to punish myself. We’re not going. I can’t keep changing my mind, telling Ro we’re going, then we’re not, and I should have gotten showered & ready this morning instead of sitting in a funk & sulking.

So at this moment, at least 4 of my favorite coworkers are lounging around a pool, drinking a beer, eating from the grill, and I’m going to Kroger’s and then the drugstore. Then I’m coming home and vacuuming the basement, doing a load of whites, & maybe playing a game with Roman on the Playstation. And I’m angry about it. But if I hadn’t been all unmotivated & sulky this morning, I guess we could’ve gone. Serves me right.

Comments

Cat Hoemke said…
Sounds like someone needs a time out. /not serious
Everybody has days like this. Even if you didn't get out for this thing, it sounds like you need some adult time. I give you your own advice - get out this weekend when you are off visiting family. Can someone watch the boys for a few hours to give you some out and about time? Hang in there!
Amy said…
Yes, I do need a timeout. I gave myself one earlier when the crying started. I'm actually getting out tonight for a couple hours to scrapbook. I hope it's enough! I forget how not a stay-at-home-mom I am.
Anonymous said…
4 Months 12 days until NKOTB . . . . . . . :-)
Wendy said…
Mama said there'd be days like this... Fortunately, there are new days that come after!

Now if I could just remember... Someone told me this thing about oxygen masks...
A^O said…
We'll have days by the pool again soon! No one swam though...kinda sad :-(

Ummm...ARE YOU GOING TO NKOTB??!?!? If so, I'm totally jealous!
Lori L said…
I can't help with the no kids thing, but I'll call soon so we can have a moms and kids playdate (it always seems a little easier, to me at least, if there's another mom there with you!

I have all the girls starting next week and I'm worried about what I'm gonna do all day! I'll be in touch!!