One would think that holiday problems with foster children would be about their previous family(ies), traditions, or things of that nature. What we have run into is expectations. Specifically, amount expectations by Girl.
This issue first appeared when she lost a tooth last summer. The previous foster mom warned me not to tell birth family right away, because not only did the tooth fairy visit foster family and left money for the tooth, but birth mom and birth grandma ALSO claimed to have been visited by the tooth fairy and brought *more* money. Obnoxious, point taken. But then, we found out that the tooth fairy at previous foster family brought waaaaay more $$ per tooth than ever would be brought to our house. Luckily Girl had never seen a gold dollar coin before, so that was unusual and distracting.
Christmas was something else. Birth grandma seemed to spend an entire paycheck buying gifts for the kiddos - Girl specifically. Doug and I early on decided to use the rhyme "something you want, something you need, something to wear, and something to read" as our guideline for the boys' Christmases. They get 4 presents from us, plus one big one that Santa brings. Well, Girl was used to Santa bringing a lot. And then getting a lot more from previous foster family. So trying to keep her excited for Christmas while tempering her expectation was a chore.
Enter Easter. I didn't think this was going to be a problem. Easter basket appears full of candy & a small toy, hunt for eggs, done. Last night as I was putting Girl to bed, she talked about how excited she was to see what presents the Easter Bunny was going to bring. Um... presents? Plural? So imagine trying to put an excited Girl to bed, all the while explaining that the Easter Bunny has never brought lots of presents to our house, but not trying to completely crush her excitement or make her cry. A difficult dance, but I think I did okay. It helped that the German Easter Bunny (Doug) brought a little something extra for all the kids from his last business trip.
They've been with us 10 months now. No more present-receiving holidays left, thank goodness.
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