Now A Family of *gulp* Six.

June 11 marked one year since the kiddos moved in with us. During a visit with Girl's therapist, the three of us reflected on how things have changed & improved in that year. It really is amazing. Little Boy: Used to only communicate with about 2 words & screams. Clung to Sissy but liked us for entertainment. Went to sleep almost *too* well - never fussed, never called for anyone when he woke, slept for hours at a stretch. Clearly his escape.  Now? Talks constantly even when we can't understand him. Screams when rightfully upset or frustrated. Gives boys as much attention (or more, some days) as Sissy. Comes to Doug and I when hurt or needs comfort. Loves to cuddle with us. Fights his naps. :)  Acts appropriately when exploring new places, using us as his familiar point. Girl: Was clingy, behaved only to please, parented Little Boy, avoided all emotions except the occasional huge cry. Did not trust Doug or I to keep her safe or comfort her.  Now? The clingines...

When Roman first joined us, I wrote a blog about the kid subculture. It's this crazy world where you know the name of every color Wiggle, Barenaked Ladies also make kids' albums, and which tv shows are on Disney Jr. vs. Nick Jr. vs. PBS. Generally, my boys and I have not minded revisiting this world again. Here's what we have learned & confirmed: Caillou is still annoying. VeggieTales songs stand the test of time. JoJo Siwa is new to us, and also annoying. But her bows are apparently awesome to 6yro girls. Disney continues to rock the animated world. We didn't see "Moana" until the kids joined us, and I swear it's one of Roman's favorite movies now.  The "Banana Boat Song" (day-oh!) is still one of the best songs to entertain kids. Little Boy giggles throughout it. In our house, there's more to watch on Nick Jr than Disney Jr. (gasp!) More trips to the zoo! Charlie even admits he can do things he never got to do, like m...

The title of the blog, long dormant, has had to change. We are now a family of six, having taken in two foster children about 8 months ago. We had been long expecting it, and even joked about these particular children ending up in our home. Doug and I both feel that we were just waiting... not sure when they would arrive, but knowing in our hearts our family wasn't complete yet. A milestone for the kids has passed, and this past Monday we signed the papers to begin the adoption process. It is definitely not all rainbows and butterflies. Charlie especially is struggling with this change in our family. There are days one or more of us wants the kids to just. go. away. Life had gotten simple, organized, easy even. And while the daily task of raising four kids is sometimes overwhelming now, Doug and I continue to feel that long term we are the best family for them. So now I will have lots more to write about as we navigate this new chapter.

We have been taking Roman to OT now for a month. Three times a week, we jump in the car at 4pm, drive 50 min. to the office, do 50 min. of therapy, and then drive the 50 min. home again. It makes for some long days! However, his confidence has already grown, his core & upper arm strength is increasing, and best of all - his encopresis is already improving. They have an OT named Sandy that we had been told about, who apparently has a "magic touch" when it comes to this problem. She has done 3 half-hour sessions with Ro and the problem has gone from 3-4 times a week to 2x a week. She does something called "visceral manipulation." Basically, as she explains it, his internal organs and nerves in the private area are bound, restricted, and confused. She applies different techniques to his low back & upper buttocks. Ro doesn't mind it - he gets to watch a video while he lays on a massage table. Sandy told me she currently has five clients with encopres...

Kindergarten is hard. That's Charlie's summary of his school year so far. He has a teacher who has high expectations! It was a good/bad start - he likes school, but some things are too easy and boring (alphabet, he already knows it). On the other hand, some things have been challenging to him - cutting, sitting quietly. We have gotten 2 calls from his teacher so far about his behavior. We all agree his behavior is worse in the afternoon and it's because he is so darn tired! That doesn't excuse his hitting, of course, or refusing to follow directions - but it does explain it. He's on a special behavior plan now, where his teacher notifies us what "color" he is (green, yellow, blue, red). If he gets 2 green in a row, we will give him a reward. Since starting it 4 weeks ago, he has earned 3 rewards. It clearly helps. He likes gym the best, and loves before & after-school care. Playtime! He is definitely ready to read - he's always spelling out words ...

My dislike of snow days started when Roman was probably 3 or 4. They were no longer fun, carefree days - they were a lot of work!  Having a lack of imagination, Roman needed constant "entertainment." He was always asking for me to play with him, create with him, watch TV with him... and if I tried to do tasks around the house, or heaven forbid - something fun for me - he would cry, yell, complain, you name it.  It makes sense to us now - an abandonment feeling, a need he had to be close to someone - but at the time, just the most frustrating, annoying behavior. It hasn't gotten much better with the addition of little brother. There are days that the boys play well together, and days where all they do is pick, poke, and yell at each other. Snow days, sadly, seem to be days they do not get along.  I actually dread the phone call, because all it means is a long day of playing referee, sending them to separate locations, and listening to them whine either about each other o...

Christmas: check. New Year's: check. Charlie's birthday: check. Semester break: check. Practically February: oh my gosh! 2013 arrived with a whoosh and it's been nonstop since we all returned to work/school. We had a great Christmas break, probably the best yet - spent time with family & friends, visited the Institute of Art for some fun, had a couple lazy pajama-days here at home. As usual, Charlie's birthday snuck up on us but he turned 5 with much fanfare. It seems the older he gets, the less he wants to follow directions - there is a large learning curve going on in his life right now. Of course, he reminds me of... well, of me. And I turned out just fine! Roman is finding 4th grade to be really fun and really tough all at the same time. Homework is taking longer & is much more involved. He's done a couple projects & the great thing is, he tells me he doesn't get nervous before he has to do a speech or presentation. What a grea...

Simon & Garfunkel had it right. Life is just going too quickly right now, or too much is happening, or... something. To catch 5 or 10 minutes where I can think, or even have a conversation with Doug - priceless. It's to the point that to even do the things we enjoy is getting to be a hassle. Something has got to give. And it will - after October. The boys have been swimming 1x a week, and Charlie has also been doing tang soo do (karate) 1x a week. Because Ro and Char give school their ALL, having this extra stuff wipes them out. We've been dealing with tired-meltdowns from both of them. So the decision was made that they will end swimming; but Goldfish wants 30 days' notice! And so they will go for another 4 weeks, because goshdarnit if we're paying, they are going!  Without swim, that gives our family an entire evening free. Roman has been continuing neurofeedback this entire time. We pay for it in 20-session blocks. Our next block of 20 will also be done at th...

What a crazy week! Three of the four of us went back to school, making for a complete shakeup of our routine. Roman was very excited to start school and see his friends again. Charlie was sort of excited... he was nervous about his daycare teacher and hoping she would be nice. Me, of course, I was worried about setting the right tone in class so the year would go right. Three days in, and we're close to our "usual." Charlie hates mornings and doesn't ever want to go to "school" but then loves it once he settles in. Roman seems to be happy, except he brought homework home tonight and made it clear that's what he dislikes about school. I finally am feeling more comfortable and getting a feel for my classes' personalities. Still wish I could have a housekeeper, as all the little things like laundry & dishes are falling behind!

Summer always re-motivates me to do things, both with the kids and for myself. Sometimes summer seems so long, with days and days with no plans. If you have children like mine, you would understand that this strikes fear into my heart! But then I realize, we have done some awesome stuff already and have more on the way! Consider: A re-enactment of the landing of Sicily during WWII A week's art camp for Roman 2 nature center classes for Ro 2 nature center classes for Charlie Long weekend in Traverse City area Swimming almost every day reunion picnic Splash park, beach, playdates Camping That's a lot to stuff into a couple months! Plus the doctor appointments, grocery shopping, and usual "stuff" that goes along with actually running a house & family. I have taken up the Couch to 5k program, which is supposed to train me to jog 3 miles in 9 weeks. It will certainly take me longer than that, but I am actually enjoying it. Once I got my breathing rhythm do...

We are becoming true experts on the hospitals in our area. This week's adventure is brought to you by Doug, who is currently being attended to in the Critical Care Unit at Botsford. His pneumonia/fever was just not progressing, so they admitted him through the ER on Friday night. This morning they stuck a tube in his lung (yes - ow!) and immediately drained 2 liters of fluid out. Over the last few hours he has drained another liter, and it still keeps coming. Big Doc Pulmonologist stopped in later while I was there and said they want him to have another CT scan tomorrow to check that lung. He confirmed that indeed, it was "collapsing" in the lower part of his lung. He wants to make sure that it is beginning to "inflate" again. If all is well, the tube can come out and Doug can start healing. If not, the tube stays in until Monday. Big Doc P. also has a thoracic surgeon on hold, who has looked at Doug's tests & was present for the chest tube insertion, ...

Well, let's get the bad out of the way first - Doug is in a bad way. Out of the blue, he started feeling "dehydrated," then had a fever, then started getting really winded. 2 days later, diagnosed with pneumonia. The doctors did debate admitting him to the hospital, but decided to keep a close eye on him. He has reported 2 days already this week, with a third followup tomorrow. Two shots of antibiotics, one of steroids, 2 breathing treatments, and 2 prescriptions. He can't do much but walk really slowly around the house. It's quite scary, actually, when the rock of the family is all the sudden bedridden. The boys are handling it quite well; Roman was very anxious and worried for a couple days, but Charlie luckily is still in the stage where he believes everything we tell him. :)  Doug reports he's getting incrementally better, and that's all we can hope for. He's off work, trip to Germany cancelled, and his life is pretty much in limbo right now. For...

A rare shot of the subject doing quiet work... Roman, my heart. Outside of fart/poop jokes, his dry wit has us laughing out loud almost every day. He'll toss off a one liner, like the other day when they were all washing the Jeep. Doug said something about shuffling the brush over the car, or Charlie should shuffle over... Roman stuck his hands in his pocket and said, "you mean shuffle like this?" and proceeded to do a little tap dance number with a big grin on his face. He gets those little word plays that crack us up. In working with his adoption therapy, we found trying to get him to be okay with his story is just too challenging right now. He's got a lot of anger at his birthmom and a lot of feeling worthless that he's just not ready to tackle. So we are continuing on the plan to have him "graduate" from talk therapy for the time being, last appointment at the end of April. He really is controlling his moods & hyperactivity SO much better ...

November 28. I want to mark this as the day I realized I need to find that Advent calendar... because usually it's December 1st and I'm taken by surprise. I feel ahead of the game this year. I finished shopping for both boys today. I have a few stocking stuffers to buy for Doug, easy enough to do. Half my extended family is taken care of, and I know what I'm doing for the rest - just need to get out there and do it (or wait until next paycheck!).  This coming weekend we will put the tree & the rest of the decorations up. It all seems too good to be true - I'm actually ahead of the game for once! We are looking forward to being at home through Christmas morning this year. It will be our second time in 11 years. The older the kids get, the more enticing it is to stay home. Go to our own church for Christmas Eve service, have Santa visit our house. We will embark on our usual Tour of the Families afterward, of course. It makes sense more than ever this year, because ...

I don't even know how to start this post. So much has happened. I thought about listing all the subjects that are dominant in our life right now... it would go something like this:  ...Washington DC, Star of the Week, following directions, peeing in the potty, coordinating schedules, packing lunches, grocery shopping, laundry, doing homework, grading papers, mowing the lawn, need more underwear & socks, how in the world are their pants too short again, Roman needs a haircut, put some clothes on Charlie, we've got to watch that movie and send it back to Netflix, is the Crock-Pot clean so I can make tomorrow's dinner, don't forget to fill out the form.... I guess that gives you a good indication of life in our house right now! The above picture was our back-to-school portrait. While I would love to have those cool shots of the same pose at the same place every year, I also realize I'm the mother of boys. And I'm just happy they were willing to stop...

Charlie is in underwear all day now! He has only had one partial accident in 5 days. Awesome.  Roman's neurofeedback is finally showing some success too - we have had 14 sessions now. In tracking some of his behaviors, we have noticed 4 of them, most significantly his anxiety/fear of being alone, have really decreased. We also no longer see the constant interruptions & overtalking; his "boredom" and arguing has gone down as well.  Ro still has trouble regulating himself and keeping on an even keel, and we have noticed his impulsive behavior has ramped up. But, it's all the 3rd month of summer, and who knows what will happen when school starts? We have been pleased with what's happened so far. I have been on Weight Watchers for a month now and have lost a grand total of 13.5 lbs. What's even better though, is the every day things that have changed. I was able to pull 3 shirts out of storage that now fit me again. My belt has gone in one hole. A couple p...

(Proud Lake camping) The halfway mark of summer has passed for us - that's VBS. It's always the last week of July and I dread it and love it at the same time. I taught Roman's class this year which was fun - but Charlie had a real hard time being separated from me every day. We had a very busy weekend a couple weeks ago - camping & the air show - so this past and this coming weekend we're being lazy and sticking around home. I am also excited for and dreading school starting again. Now that my kids & I have a routine down, there's lots we want to do - and we'll have to undo it in a few short weeks! (P51 Mustang at air show) On the losing weight front, I am proud to tell my gentle readers that I have lost an unofficial total of 13.5 lbs in a month (weigh-in is not until tomorrow, but I may have cheated this morning and looked). I have gone down a shirt size and probably a pant size too, except I mostly wear elastic baggy capris in the summer so who kno...

We have reached the part of summer I had been dreading. Roman was enjoyable the first few weeks, being a great kid and I thoroughly liked being with him. Probably the first summer I've felt that way. Charlie was cute and sweet, a few tempers but nothing significant. It was the honeymoon. Little by little, we have devolved. roman doesn't want to do anything, go anywhere, nothing is fun, he's bored, etc. When I tell him of something we're going to do, he simply says no. I inform him he's going anyway, and a meltdown occurs. Charlie has entered the "push your buttons" phase. Verbally he asks "why" all the time, asks the same question two to three times in succession, or asks all of us the same question individually. When I turn the "why" around on him, he simply shrugs his shoulders and says "I don't know." Gah! Too early to be doing that! He has picked up many things from his older brother, some funny (inflections in his voi...

Tomorrow marks the first real day of summer for me. It's also when my kids become my only job for a little while. That's good and bad, of course. I'm not sure about those moms who have the best kids and can't wait to spend summer with them. I always have an ounce of dread when I think about summers home. Perhaps because my 8-year-old can't hold his attention on anything for more than 10 minutes at a time. Summer is like the starting of a new job. I am their primary entertainment & disciplinarian now, not school or daycare. And where at school I can get a new set of kids every 55 minutes, I'm stuck with these 2 all day every day! We will have some awesome times, no doubt - Ro already wants to go swimming, have lots of playdates, go to the zoo, etc. - but there will always be those "long dark tea-times of the soul," for us usually around 4:30-6pm, when they've played everything they can think of, and I just want to get dinner started... ooh. Just...

For a calm and planned-out Saturday, today turned into one big emotional crazy day. It was supposed to be easy - errands in the morning, Charlie naps, buy Ro's birthday gift, grandparents arrive, dinner, etc. Nice, right? Well, errands got done. Then Charlie's naptime came but he was not pleased. Long story short, he ended up whacking me twice in the head. He's lucky I didn't throw him into his bed. Instead I just sort of... tossed him. I ended up brushing off Roman because I was so angry, so he got upset thinking I was pushing him away when he wanted to give me a hug, and HE started crying. I started crying because I just wanted to be by myself for 5 minutes!! So my parents arrive in the midst of this. Roman had calmed down so he went to entertain them, Charlie was no longer screaming but just kicking the wall, and I calmed myself down. Then it was my Dad's turn to cause a ruckus. He voiced a concern that he needed something sweet to help his sugar. We gave him a c...