Now A Family of *gulp* Six.

This is always a crazy time of year. Doug's birthday, my birthday 4 days later, our anniversary (10 years this year!) a week after that. Throw in a scrapbooking convention that I attend every year, Mother's Day, and various other family birthdays, and it's a wonder I can keep anything straight! This is also the time of year when Doug's golf league starts every Monday, baseball starts up for Roman in another week or two, and generally Charlie wants to be outside in the sandbox every. single. day. Throw in some weekly therapy to keep us all sane, a moms' support group every other week, and again - it's a wonder I can keep anything straight! The boys are fabulous, except when they're... not. Charlie is really showing signs of having inherited my temper, and being 2 doesn't make it any easier. Tomorrow night we have an appt. with the Early On specialist to do his regular 6 month followup for his speech delay. We definitely are noticing improvement and some ...

Can you believe it?! And of course, he's already screwing up his hospital-made schedule. He didn't want to eat at 2:30 and only took half his normal feeding, then he was hungry 2 hours later and had almost 20cc. So who knows how much he'll take at the next feeding? What a stinker. So much for having an every-three-hour night. But if you consider what he has gone through today - circumcision, car ride, change in location - I guess my day would be a little thrown off too. Roman was very excited to have his little brother home, and he even made a sparkly glitter picture for near Charlie's bed. We're going to pose for a whole-family picture after dinner. More updates later.

I spent a good bit of time with Charlie today. Did 3 feedings, one in which he sucked down 50cc (almost 2 ounces) without burping or pausing longer than a couple breaths. That boy is hungry ! He weighed 1995 grams this afternoon, which is 4.4 pounds. They did a "bath demo" for me, which is nice because honestly, I've never bathed a newborn. Roman screamed for the first month of baths, but he also could sit up on his own so no problems there. Dr. Man (I can't remember his last name), the resident who replaced Dr. Magdalena, came by for a chat and reviewed discharge. Nurse Carol also got his discharge paperwork going so it would be a bit faster for us in the morning. Roman has chosen to go to preschool in the morning instead of to the hospital. I have mixed feelings about this. In my "Norman Rockwell" mind I want the whole family to be there and experience it together. But, I know that discharge will take awhile and there will be lots of instructions, too, and...

Again, our dining room looks like a baby store exploded inside it. Between things borrowed and bought, we haven't put anything away... and the washer & dryer are in use quite a bit trying to wash floor blankets, the little outfits, receiving blankets, preparing everything for, uh... tomorrow. We got confirmation that unless something goes drastically wrong, Charlie will be discharged sometime after 10am on Friday. Drs. do their rounds then, they will do a final check on him, and then Doug and I will receive our instructions. Charlie received 2 shots yesterday for the start of immunizations, I had to leave early due to weather so I couldn't comfort him. That bothered me a lot. I asked about when the circumcision would be done and they said "whenever the dr. comes in" so that irritates me as well, maybe not being able to be there to comfort him. It's very much like when Roman was in Russia, knowing these things were happening but not being able to be a parent. I...

I mean the title in a good way. I think. I must repeat... holy crap. I went to the hospital as is my usual habit, settled in with Charlie in my arms, and continued reading a book. Nurse Debbie came in and we chatted about how well Charlie is doing. Nurse said that based on weight, Charlie could come out of the isolette & into an open-air bassinet. This just amazed me and I was thrilled! Then, as Nurse perused his chart, she asked if anyone had "talked dates" with me yet. I knew she meant when Charlie would be discharged. I said the last thing I had heard - a couple weeks if things continued to go well. She laughed. I felt a stab of excited dread. She said, "if he does well in the bassinet, he'll be going home this weekend." WHAT?! Jaw hit the floor. I started laughing. Almost cried. What?! I told her my mom was coming this weekend so we could shop for things we needed; Nurse laughed again and said, "I think you need to go out shopping tonight. Your mom ...

I arrived at the hospital to find that Charlie's nose-tube had been taken out - he is now getting all feedings by bottle! I was fortunate enough to give him 2 bottles today. And do lots of cuddling, of course. His hair is continuing to grow in, quite blonde. He searches for my face when I'm talking to him, it's really quite amazing. He did have a couple issues with milk coming back up - once through his nose & mouth, and it appeared he had spit up quite a bit on his outfit before I came. The nurse reassures me that at this stage milk's as easy coming up as it is going down, so not to worry. The nurses also keep telling us "he won't be here long" and "hope you guys are getting ready for him to go home!" This strikes fear into me. I'm just getting used to him being in the world, for goodness sakes. And he still makes me very nervous - it's that floppy head of his. Anyway, so Roman and I took a field trip to Babies R Us this afternoon. I...

My parents-in-law are heading home, and Doug and I are all by ourselves for real now. I can finally drive (although the car, supposedly fixed, is not. So it's going back to the fix-it shop on Monday). Our house & laundry has been done for 2 weeks in a row, giving Doug a break and me a head start on being a stay-at-home-mom for the next 8 months. Goodness, 8 months? Well, 7, technically. Wow. Anyway, today the weather was not so good. Therefore Roman stayed home again and miraculously took a 2 hour nap. He also was tired this evening - I think we finally broke the cycle of overtiredness and he can finally start catching up. My pappy-in-law drove me up to the hospital where I was pleased to discover I did not miss the 11am feeding. And on top of that, they wanted to try bottle feeding! And then, they reminded me that babies need burping. Can you believe how tiny he is compared to my hand? And despite the look on his face, Charlie enjoyed it. He received 33cc of milk, and drank do...

Charlie is a champ. Even if he takes a step or two backward now, I know he's a champ. He had reached the point that they were dropping humidity every 12 hours. Well, he was handling the drops so well, and was already on room air, that they have removed him from his incubator and put him in a regular isolette! He also is getting 31cc of milk a feeding (that's a touch over an ounce) and holding it down well. Lastly, he has gained another 10 grams! The nurse said tonight that she was really hoping for a big poop to prove that everything is "flowing" well but he's just doing awesome. So, this also means that the battle for milk delivery is upon us. Will I breastfeed? Will I bottle feed? I have encountered "whatever" nurses on this debate already, and I have had an adamant breastfeeding nurse already. I will tell you, gentle readers, that I did agree to try breast "non-nutrietive sucking" so I could make an educated and informed decision on whether ...

Charlie got his IV taken out on Wednesday afternoon! They felt he was digesting and gaining well enough that they could try him without. Notice the word try ; it's always possible he'll need it again. But it was great to make that kind of progress - and be there to see it! Here he is, with no IV on his arms or legs: They have also begun "non-nutrietive sucking," which I simply call "practice." Just to see if he knows what to do to get food in his mouth. He starts out strong but then gets kind of tired and just sits there; and that is pretty normal too. He will keep the tube in his nose (I was corrected and told it was a gavage (guh-vahge) tube, not a nasogastric tube) until they are confident he is sucking and doing everything properly, which could be a couple weeks or more. Then the nurse panicked me by saying, "...and the earliest he could go home is about 2-1/2 weeks!" Yikes! Still not prepared for that! I was also talking to a couple yesterday ...

I am tired. I've been trying to get up to pump at night, but last night I didn't even make it. My eyes opened, and apparently I just went right to sleep. I paid for it in the morning, however, with some pretty sore... anyway, I did catch a 45-minute nap this afternoon and it helped me power through the evening. I'm exhausted, though. All that's happened in the past week is really starting to take its toll. Being tired also makes me more emotional, if that's possible. I have held it together pretty well the past few days, just a few tears here and there. Well, until tonight. I'm just overwhelmed with "perceived" things to do, phone calls I think I have to return the same day, thank-you notes to write, and oh yeah, Charlie to see, Roman to raise, and a husband to have a conversation with once in awhile. And visiting Charlie is wonderful, but it's also very taxing on my emotions. I try to get some things done at the hospital but between pumping and ho...

Today a lady from church, Susie, drove me to the hospital. This was nice because I usually chat with her on Wednesday evenings and have missed it. Both her boys are adopted (teens, now) and so we had a great talk about that. My friend Wendy, also from church but now also a good neighbor, picked me up and we had a great time catching up. She has been a rock through all this, picking up Roman from preschool on the night Charlie was born, and being such a support in general. Talked to a coworker tonight on the phone, too, who is going to give me a ride up to the hospital on Wednesday. So I feel like I'm reconnecting with people and "surfacing" from this quagmire called hospital bedrest & c-section. Charlie is doing well. Taking half an ounce at each feeding (16cc) and finally began pooping again last night, so digestively he's working. I am noticing that he's beginning to fill out his skin, he looks more like a real baby. His skin is a nice tone, too. He just sme...

Doug is holding Charlie right now and humming the Olympics theme song to him. Just finished the 3pm feeding and so now is holding time! We have Nurse Amy back with us this weekend, she was on last weekend too. I have only encountered one nurse I have not liked so far. The nurses I enjoy are ones that tend to have a sense of humor or are really lighthearted about touching Charlie. Nurses Kelly, Julia, and Amy I like the best. We were encouraged to NOT buy preemie things; maybe an outfit or two for "showing off" when he gets home, but not to get a lot of devices or home monitors that aren't necessary. He's in newborn diapers already, and we were told if we get newborn-size gowns that he can grow in we'll be all set. Doug did research on our carseat and it's good for 5 lbs and up, and the nurses suspect he will weigh close to that when he goes home. They also do a carseat inspection before we're allowed to leave the hospital with Charlie, and that makes me fe...

A quick blog tonight because it's been a very long day - pictures tomorrow. I spent a good portion of the day at the hospital today, which made me happy. My parents have returned to their home after a week of my Mom supporting us, of which I am so darn grateful for (the support, not them returning home!). Doug's parents came for a short visit this afternoon and then took Roman to their house for the weekend, so Doug and I can have a couple days to rest & digest all that has happened. There are lots of funny small stories that I'd like to blog, along with lots of feelings to wrestle with (and share with the world, of course), so I'm hoping to have some quiet time to do that. Charlie began taking milk again at noon, and had 2 more subsequently. Only 4cc but it's a start. He kangaroo'd with me twice and was awake for part of that time, so that was neat - to know that he was awake and hearing me. Tonight after Roman and his grandparents took off, Doug and I went...

Here's Charlie relaxing while waiting for me to change his diaper again tonight. What a cool dude, huh? The wrap is because Charlie apparently thinks he can escape, and likes to push himself to the top of the incubator. The nurses are trying to keep him in one spot... Did I mention that I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop with Charlie? I've emailed people and talked to so many people on the phone, I forget what I say. Well, I had been thinking that things are going so well that something should go wrong. We did have a minor setback today. They had raised his feedings this morning to 30cc and were going to take the IV out this afternoon. Well, when they went to check his stomach contents at the 2pm feeding, he still had a bit of greenish liquid in there - enough to say that his tummy isn't digesting everything and needs a break. So they halted his milk feedings for the rest of the day and he remains on IV fluids until Friday, when they will try again. Nurse Julia sai...

Very important things, those three. Charlie is doing well at all of them. They raised his intake to 28cc today, almost an ounce a feeding. I got to "kangaroo" him twice today, late morning before lunch, then again in the afternoon. At 2pm was a big deal - I turned him over from tummy to back for the first time myself (so tiny! so fragile!), and then I changed his teeny tiny diaper! See evidence: Then I "kangaroo'd" for about 1-1/2 hours. Charlie is getting very squirmy, trying to move his head, stretching, getting more comfortable while on me. And he's just adorable, and cute, and little, and sweet. He still weighs just about 3.7-ish pounds. The nurse said that he probably won't "grow" much more before he comes homes, but he will fill out and add weight. So we definitely will have to start looking at preemie-adaptation devices for bassinet, carseat, etc. The funniest part about today? Charlie pooped on me. It's been awhile since I've f...

While there are a lot of emotions going on with myself that I will blog about eventually, I will just give a quick update on Charlie today to answer frequently asked questions. And, of course, post a few pictures. To answer the most frequently asked FAQ, we have no idea when he will be allowed home. At the earliest, 4-5 weeks; they won't even have him out of the humidity in the incubator until January 30th. He needs to learn to regulate his own body temperature, as well as eat, digest, & poop on a regular basis. Once he can do all of this, as well as show growth, then they will consider sending him home. Most the nurses tell us "close to the due date" is what we should shoot for. He is continuing to do well; they increased his feedings to 18cc, which is a little over half-an-ounce per feeding. He is not sucking out of a bottle, but through an NG tube. However, the nurse said as they increase his feedings they will be decreasing the IV fluids; if he continues to take t...

First, news on Charlie: He has lost a couple ounces, which is normal. But, he was on the "jaundice lamp" Sunday and already taken off Monday because his levels went down. He also is feeding well (through a nasogastric tube) so they upped his feedings to 10cc each time. Today was great because Doug and I spent the afternoon together with Charlie. I got to Kangaroo hold him for 1-1/2 hours and Daddy was told he could start holding Charlie too (although he is waiting until later this week - he's still used to being "errand man" while I'm holding Charlie). Tomorrow I will be starting to change diapers and take his temperature, a couple of the only things parents can do in caring for him. Charlie spent almost 30 minutes awake while Doug and I cupped him and talked to him... just a powerful afternoon with our baby. God continues to solve my internal dilemmas and debates in one fell swoop, although it's not quite the way I want things resolved necessarily. Take...

Today was a good day overall. I slept a lot - you can tell I must be tired since I slept on my back all night, and I'm a side-sleeper! I saw Charlie twice today, and in the afternoon I got to hold him again - from here on out known as "Kangaroo Care" when he just lays on my chest. My Mom spent an hour or so with Roman so Doug and I could be together with Charlie - the first time since Friday afternoon, really. My incision got to hurting quite a bit this afternoon, I think I overdid it a little. My Dad went home for a few a days but my Mom is going to play driver, cook, and cleaner this week to help me get back on my feet. The following week we're hoping Doug's parents can fill that role, and by then I can probably drive again. If not, I think I'll be calling in all those offers to help and turning them into driving me to the hospital. But we'll see. Roman is still hanging in there. He was very tired today, and he expressed many times today he was very happ...

So I had to dictate to Doug last night, I was so exhausted. Making me walk. Who do the fool doctors think they are, slicing open my abdomen and then telling me to get up on my own out of bed to go to the bathroom? For crying out loud. Pain is mostly under control with alternating Tylenol #3 and Motrin, hoping tomorrow I can just operate on one or the other. I've also been told to drink 3 big jugs a day of water. Whew! Roman is doing fine as a big brother. Yesterday he was too afraid to touch Charlie in the incubator; today he put both his hands in and "cupped" him (one hand on head, one hand at feet). That was really neat to see. I spent about 1-1/2 hours just holding Charlie on my chest, in "skin to skin" contact as they call it, so he can hear my heartbeat and voice. The nurse said he was very stable, just small, so I can come up anytime and hold him. I still vary between wanting to nurse my own wounds and just hold him all day. I suspect they will kick me out...

Dr decided on Thursday that Charlie was "better out than in." So, after another round of hurried phone calls, I was prepped for emergency C-Section and Charlie was born at 7:23pm! He cried after being pulled out and his scores were all normal. We only saw him briefly through the porthole and they whisked him off to the NICU (Neonatal Intesive Care Unit.) Friday they put me on the Magnesium drip again because I am still considered pre-eclampsic and will continue to be for the next few days. Doug was able to see Charlie right away as did Roman and all Grandparents. I was able to see him this afternoon when they brought him down for five minutes. They layed Charlie and me "skin to skin." It just brought a big smile to my face and he calmed right down. Guess there is some truth to that bonding feeling! Charlie was on a CPAP (continous positive airway pressure) for about 12 hours but he's been pulled off and he is breathing on his own. He's been getting ...